You're Obsessed With Naruto When
by plywoodxisxchocolate
Summary: A little oneshot telling you whether you are obsessed with Naruto or not. A little review with a suggestion would be nice though...
1. Introduction

**You're Obsessed With Naruto When…**

**A/N: Before I begin, I would like to say that this is my first fanfiction overall. It's a little oneshot telling whether you are obsessed with Naruto.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Naruto. The Sasuke poster, which is hanging on my room, however, is mine.**

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You would rather poke your eyes out with a red hot poker than read a fanfic of a pairing that you don't like 

You wear your Ninja headgear, gloves, etc to school and don't get why you get so many stares from your peers

You sleep every night with your Naruto plushies

But only Sasuke gets the area between your cleavage for extra warmth during the winter

You believe that Konoha village is real.

When you and your family finally get to visit Japan for vacation, you run wild on the city streets, searching in vain for Konoha village

When asked to name the major religions of world, you will respond with out hesitation: Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and Narutoism

You have a shrine dedicated to Masashi Kisimoto in your room

The hidden village symbols are a recurring theme in your doodles…

…and so are shurikens…

Your locker is decorated with random Naruto screenshots

As well as your favorite binder/folder

You have read all the Naruto manga there possibly can be

You have watched all the Naruto episodes and know the lines by heart

You have every rumor memorized for each episodes as well as your own theories

You obsess over character bios

You listen to a song and a Naruto AMV begins to take shape

You have CDs burned with songs that remind you of Naruto

You put off homework and other important projects to read fanfictions

You've even made fanfictions yourself

You say to your friends, "Wanna know what's under my mask?"

You say, "ANOTHER MASK!"

Sadly enough, your friends actually get the joke

You've accidentally mistaken the hottest guy in school for Sasuke

The bitchy popular girl is mistaken for Ino

When you're angry, you start doing hand signs

Your principal had to save your Naruto plushies from being posed in sexual positions

You use your plushies as a threat against your unruly friends, saying that you'll make Sasuke and Shikamaru make out with each other

You are convinced that jutsus are real

When you hear birds chirping, you think you have accomplished Chidori

You are definitely convinced that you have control over your chakra

Such activities include climbing a tree with your chakra focused on your feet

You run up the tree and then crash to the ground with a violent thud sound

This continues on for one hour

You come back home with many broken bones and many vicious looking bruises

The next day, you are convinced that you posses the Byakugan

You spend three hours trying to make your chakra veins bulge

You find a toad and try to sit on it, believing that you have performed the summoning jutsu

The toad keeps hopping away from you…

You treat foxes with great respect

Screw Harry Potter, who needs is when you have the greatest piece of fictional work in your hands?

You have made a messed up list on the stages of life that Naruto will go through. Age 13: Goth, Age 14: Rapper, Age 16: Hippie, Age 17: Stripper, Age 25: Terminator Macho Buff Guy, Age 50: Nudist and so on and so on

You draw your most favorite character over and over and over again until they are PERFECT

And then you draw them over again.

When asked to write a hero essay for English class, you choose your favorite character as your hero. No matter how beautifully written and the amount of time that was wasted composing this essay, you receive an F. Even though you deliberately knew that you couldn't do anyone fictional

You name household appliances after characters

Then you have little conversations with them

You parents take you to a child psychiatrist because they think you hear voices in your head

You make yourself a certificate reading "Certified Member of the Akatsuki"

You life long dream is to become a ninja (and then betray your village…)

You visit a specialty mall and see a store that sells only ramen

They even have mannequins holding ramen bowls…

You take pictures of the store and give them out to your fan friends in school

That store was probably the highlight of your entire life

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**Final Note: I hope that you will not be greatly disturbed by my reasons, but on the other hand, just click on the little purple button that says go…**

**Thank you for taking the time to read and review the first chapter of my little oneshot.**

**REVIEW NO JUTSU! **


	2. When Algebra Teachers Strike Back

**A/N: Anyway…here's the second chapter to the You're Obsessed with Naruto When oneshot. I am so sorry that it took forever to update!!!!!! (I decided to take a break from the fanfiction world and then I came back and we all know that the temptation is too great to resist…ha ha) I promise that after the second chapter, I will start updating weekly. This oneshot is too fun to stop working on.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The huge Sasuke poster, which hangs on my bedroom, is however, mine.**

**One last quick note, thanks for my friend ShadowWolfSora for help on the first chapter and thanks for all the readers who reviewed! Cookies for everyone! YAY!!!!! And now we begin…**

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Chapter 2. When Algebra Teachers Strike Back…

You waste valuable class time, especially during algebra, thinking about random Naruto things (etc. Who's the Akatsuki Leader/ What's under Kakashi's mask? I WANNA KNOW WHO NARUTO'S PARENTS ARE!!!!!)

You fall asleep during your algebra teacher's many boring lectures and dream about things happening in Naruto

(The algebra textbook is your makeshift pillow where you fall asleep on)

Then your teacher calls on you to answer a questions

Unfortunately, you are still in your little daydream, so you cry out, "EWWW…JIRAIYA!!!! YOU PERV!!!!!!!!!"

Then everyone turns from his or her desks to stare at you, including the teacher, who is extremely pissed off at you for not paying attention

In fact, the students view you as a source of cheap entertainment... besides the crazy English teacher who comes frequently to annoy your Algebra teacher

You have a desk in Algebra class assigned next to the window where you look up at the sky and the prettiful clouds, and literally space out when you should be paying attention to various algebraic concepts.

Basically, you go cloudwatching

Where you use your imagination to figure what the clouds are shaped like

You find that most clouds bear a uncanny resemblance to Naruto characters and things

Like, "oooh…that cloud looks like Deidara on a bad hair day!"

You report such discoveries to your friends, even the ones that aren't into Naruto or even in anime/manga

Your friends are no longer creeped out by such things

When your algebra teacher checks your math homework, she sees random doodles of Naruto characters and shurikens and the like, among the few neglected problems you actually copied down in your notebook

You didn't do your homework last night because you were too busy doodling on your math notebook at home

Your teacher gives you the evil eye and asks where your homework is

You point to the page of Naruto doodles and reply, "I was just calculating the projectile motion of a shuriken when thrown in the air with an initial velocity of 96 feet per second!"

Then she gives you detention for your "insubordination" and "irresponsible" behavior

Seriously, what's up with that?

Wasn't the homework _on_ projectile motion in the first place?

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**Final Note: This concludes to second chapter of "When Algebra Teachers Strike Back…" I know that this a little short, but I promise that the next chapter will be longer, I swear! Anyway, don't forget to click on the little purple button that says go! Reviews would be greatly appreciated, thanks! And don't forget, you can also include any ideas you have!  
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	3. Sasuke: Fandom's Most Wanted

**A/N: Anyway…the third chapter's up! Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The only piece of Naruto merchandise I do own is a huge Sasuke poster, which is currently hanging on my bedroom wall.**

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** Chapter 3. Sasuke: Fandom's Most Wanted**

You name your fingers after Naruto characters

For example, your thumb is Naruto, then your index finger is Sasuke and so on and so forth…

You try to convince your friends to give up their little fingers so you could use them for more Naruto characters

Apparently, 10 fingers weren't enough, you just _had_ to use more fingers to include more Naruto characters

Unfortunetly, the attempt fails…

You use your fingers as an exuse for every situation imaginable

Like the time during lunch, when one of your friends wouldn't give you another brownie, you wagged your index finger saying, "But Sasuke wants one too!!!!"

One of your fellow fan friends who is obsessed with Sasuke tried to grab your index finger so she could make out with him

You run away, screaming like a maniac

And then secretly, when no one is looking…

You make out with your Sasuke index finger, because you're a Sasuke fangirl too

You nearly passed out when one of your fan friends gave you a huge Sasuke poster as a Christmas present

You talk to everyone in your class about Naruto, even the ones who don't know what the hell you're talking about (pretty much everyone)

You talk to the class pet when everyone else refuses to sit next to you

Your teachers have stopped giving you weird looks

You and your sister argue about who would win a fight: Sasuke or Neji. The argument is something like this:

Me: Sasuke would so win in a fight! He has Sharingan, which would allow him to anticipate every move that Neji would make!

My Sister: But Neji has Byakugan! And besides, Sasuke is sooooo weak, he had to go to the evil side to gain power and that's just pathetic!

This goes on and on and on into other various topics

These arguments are so intense and complex that people would assume that you were debating peace in the Middle East, not arguing about anime characters

You replay a certain funny part of a Naruto episode in your head and you smile

Your parents come by and say, "Lemme guess, Naruto"

They don't need an explanation

You consider non-fans the "unbelievers" and do not hesitate to tell them that

When you are bored and there is nothing Naruto related around, you make up little scenes in your head (ex. Shikamaru singing Beverly Hills)

You wish that Sasuke would listen to Numb by Linkin' Park. Everything would be so much better then

You are a Sasuke fangirl…

…even if you're a boy

You walk around thinking What Would Insert Name of Favorite Canon Character of Your Choice Here Do If They Were Here Right Now

You name your pets after Naruto characters

You have a whole outfit you wear to bed at all times just in case you get dropped into the Naruto world while you're asleep. It never hurts to be prepared, right?

You have a carefully composed four-page list of questions you would ask the characters if they dropped into your living room.

You constantly quote the characters, even Pakkun

Everyone at your school has a "Don't ask" policy with your weird little addictions

You spend hours pondering what village your cat would be from if he/she was a member of Naruto

When you read various stories, you replace the characters with the ones from Naruto

You read fanfictions such as this one…since you find this list woefully incomplete, some of you have actually tried to attempt to leave reviews with even more suggestions

You have a potted plant named Zetsu, which you hug daily.

And then you run off screaming that it is going to eat you

You end every sentence with "dattebayo"

When someone says "Is that some guy from Naruto?" You respond "NO ITS NOT 'SOME GUY'. ITS HOSHIGAKI KISAMI, MONSTER OF THE HIDDEN MIST!"

You know all the names of every major and minor character that has appeared in the anime/manga…

…Yet you don't even know the guy on the dollar bill. It's Thomas Jefferson, right?

Your grades have dropped because of Naruto

The Muses you had before the Naruto ones moved in are now jealous that you spend all your time with the newcomers instead of them.

You've contemplated whether it's worse to be addicted to drugs or to Naruto

You have Naruto muses you don't even WANT! Zetsu just FORCED his way into your head.

You constantly whisper, "Akatsuki" to random people on the street.

And to the cable guy…

…And the pizza boy.

And the cop who pulled your car over because you and your little sister began fighting about pairings while the car was going down the interstate at seventy miles per hour, causing your ever-patient father to lose control of the vehicle.

Your parents have forbidden you from ever mentioning Naruto again. They're so tired of you ranting about it all the time.

You went on Youtube to watch every single episode that you ever missed.

Assuming that you actually ever missed one.

Your sad attempts at recreating ninjitsu, genjitsu, and/or taijitisu land you at a hospital

You plan on naming your future children with Naruto characters' names

You perk up when someone mentions Naruto

Your Christmas list is composed of only Naruto related items and detailed descriptions of where to find them.

You try to put your hair in the styles you see in the anime/manga

You compare people with characters from Naruto. Ex. "He's hot like Sasuke! Or You're scary like Orochimaru!

Naruto has become synomous with your name. When your friends/family hear the word, they think of you

You wake up to find that, after you have a dream about shirtless Sasuke, your lips are planted on your drool-soaked pillow

You randomly glance over your shoulders, looking for the Akatsuki

You cosplay…_**A lot**._

You rattle off every obscure detail from every episode imaginable and you can do it at the drop of a hat. Most of the time, you don't even need the hat!

You are greaty offended when people call you crazy.

They're the crazy ones, not knowing what Naruto is!

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**Final Note: Anyway…thanks for everyone who has reviewed and left suggestions for me (I included some)! We're halfway through the list. Just two more chapters and this fanfiction will be over for good. Anyway…you can go ahead and review and type up something on my behalf. It would greatly be appreciated.**

**REVIEW NO JUTSU!**


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